they're not ready
by burn my mind
Summary: "I - I can't." She states, clutching onto the lapels of Chuck's jacket.


**Authors Note: **This is set at the end of season two. In between the break between S2 & S3. Make sense? Cool. Yep. All medical information hasn't been researched or whatever bc cbf tbh. I don't actually know how an abortion goes about? I'm pretty sure with a medical abortion they give you something and then you vomit it up? Let's just go with that. Cool.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

::

"What do you wanna do?" Chuck asks nervously, peering down at the three sticks lined up against the counter.

All with little pink plus signs and promises of a tiny human.

And she can't do this.

She's _eighteen_.

"I - I _can't_." She states with a sob, clutching onto the lapels of Chuck's jacket.

He brushes his fingers through her hair, planting a small kiss on the side of her head as he pulls out his phone and books an appointment with a doctor.

::

"Are you sure?" Chuck whispers in the limo, intertwining their fingers together.

Blair leans her head against Chuck's shoulder, closing her eyes.

"I am." She states firmly because she is sure, she can't have a baby at eighteen. She isn't ready, it would only ruin her life and she would resent the child. She can't turn out like Eleanor, _she _needs to be ready before she can even think about having children.

"Are you okay with this?" She whispers, eyes fluttering open, she twists her head to look up at Chuck. So far she had only thought about her decesions, her thoughts on the matter. She hadn't bothered to ask Chuck, it was her opinion that would count. At the end of the day it was her body, it was her choice but she could at least take in account his feelings, right?

"Yeah. We're not ready. _I'm _not ready. This is the right choice, Blair." Chuck explains, he picks up her hand and lightly kisses her knuckles. A tiny smile spreading across his face.

Just because it was the right choice, just because they weren't ready, didn't make this all that easy.

But it's basically just like losing an egg each month, right? When you have your period. This was no different. It wasn't like it was developed or fully formed or anything.

::

Chuck pushes open the door, leading Blair into the waiting room.

It was the best clinic in New York, it wasn't like they were going to settle for some unseen place in Brooklyn to conceal identities.

Who cares if Gossip Girl catches them?

A stack of paperwork is handed to them, and with a sigh Blair picks up a pen and starts to answer the questions printed out.

Boring, useless questions.

All of them.

Every single one.

Can't this just be over and done with?

::

She doesn't expect to cry when it all happens.

This meant nothing, right?

But she cries anyway. She guesses that just because it means nothing, doesn't mean it's not hard.

Chuck holds her hand, sitting as close as possible to her on the bed as they give her the medicine.

"Hey, it's okay." He whispers, wiping away a tear that falls down her cheek as she hides her head in the crook of his neck.

::

She's curled up in bed later that night, covers covering her body and Audrey on the screen. Macaroons in a box by her side.

"Hey," Her eyes light up as Chuck enters the room, she pushes herself up into a sitting position as he kneels down beside her and gives her a light kiss. He mumbles a hey back as he pushes covers aside and slides in next to her. Her head falls against his chest, and she laces their fingers together as she hums along to Moon River.

"Do you want to tell people?" Blair asks, the words catching in her throat.

Chuck pauses, mulling the idea over. Pros and cons and all that.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I do. You?" His lips brush against her cheek.

"Same." She whispers sleepily, her eyes closing softly. A faint yawn escapes through her lips, and her chest rises and falls in a steady pattern. Chuck is quick to follow suit.

::

She wakes up in the middle of the night vomiting, barely making it to the toilet.

_Just like old times. _

Except she isn't pushing a finger down her throat anymore.

She isn't _wanting _this to happen.

And it's everywhere, and it hurts.

And Chuck's holding back her hair, and rubbing her back.

::

Gossip Girl, surprisingly, reports nothing about it.

Not a single thing.

Blair sighs in relief as she scrolls through the homepage.

"A month, and no mention of it." Blair smiles, flopping down on the bed.

Because it wasn't like it had changed her life greatly, it wasn't a big deal.

It was the right thing to do, she wasn't ready, Chuck wasn't ready and _both _of them were happy with the outcome.

::

"We, um, we have news." Blair says, two blonde best friends roll their eyes at the two brunettes sitting opposite them.

"You're not pregnant are you? Or engaged?" Nate laughs.

"I _was _pregnant. For, like, five minutes. We decided to get an abortion. We just thought you might like to know," Blair shrugs, bringing the water up to her lips.

::

"One day, when we're ready." Chuck whispers, fingers brushing against Blair's.

"Mmm. Maybe," Blair teases, the corner of her lips lifting up.


End file.
